the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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