I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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