I wannas sexs uuuuu
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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