i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
