I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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