I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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