I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
