Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
