White coat. Heels.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Church boner. Awkwardddd
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Randomize
