Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Found the puke drawer
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
