great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
