Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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