I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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