Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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