too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
