Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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