Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
