my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i came on her dog
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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