He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
