im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
