So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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