Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
