You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
