What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
