So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Randomize
