Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize