I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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