At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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