i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
