just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
