At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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