doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
