ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize