I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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