I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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