He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
