Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
