Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
