Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
