I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
