After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
