the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
