I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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