a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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