Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
