i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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