Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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