There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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