I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
