i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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