Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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