Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
