i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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