he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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