you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
