And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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